Do you ever feel like you’re not quite sure where things are going in your professional life? Or am I alone on this island? This is a daily question that I ask myself. The reason that I ask this is because this past week I’ve been questioning whether or not I’m doing the right thing. It feels like my decision to pursue something that I truly love is starting to have a negative effect on my family. Here is how my week went…
My week was full of meetings, cleaning, yard work, meetings, editing, budgeting and more meetings. In between all of that I was able to schedule two new headshot sessions and set up a new family portrait session for the end of April. But as the week came to an end, my wife and I had to have the big budget discussion. We knew the numbers weren’t looking good, but we also knew it was important to sit down and paint the picture of the next month or two.
Needless to say, after our discussion and realization that I’m not really pulling my weight in terms of finances, I committed to 3 days a week as a pool guy, cleaning & maintaining pools in the mornings. Luckily the job is rather flexible, but at the end of the day its not paying well.
I’ve been trying to look for part-time jobs not associated with food and beverage, but the temptation to return to F&B is extremely high. In fact, I’ve got two interviews next week, one with a prior employer and another with one of my favorite sports teams. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about both of the positions but I’m in desperation mode, I need something that pays well and going back to that world makes a lot of sense. Its very easy to go back.
On the other hand, I told myself I never wanted to go back to that industry when I left my last job. My heart & gut says not to go back, but my bank account says I need to get something to help my family, NOW! The internal battle I have with myself makes me sick to my stomach.
Discussing this publicly is not easy, but I think its important for those out of you out there to hear. I keep telling myself that my journey is different but I will succeed. Maybe my journey includes a full time job (like a normal person) with photography on the side before I can become a full time photographer.